I wonder if I will ever quit thinking I have to tell Jennifer this or that when I get home? I constantly find myself doing that. Then it hits me that is not going to happen, so I just tell it to her then and there (in my head of course). I would not want people to think I am crazy or weird. Or at least not crazier or weirder than they already think I am.
Sometimes, depending on what the thing or event is, it is fun trying to guess how she would react to whatever the juicy piece of info was. The funny stuff (or what I think is funny) I can see and hear her laughing about it. Sometimes it just hurts like hell and I have to fight back the tears.
It is also weird how and when things or memories pop into my head. Some are things that would drive me bat shit crazy when she was alive. She had a fit bit and she would always be trying to get her 10,000 steps a day in. If she was running behind on her hourly step count she would just walk in place trying to get her steps in. For some stupid reason and I really don't know why that just drove me nuts. I would snap at her when she did it while I was around. Again I have no idea why but it just really bothered me. Also another a thing she would do that drove me bat shit crazy was at night when she was getting ready for bed and she would wash her makeup off, it was like a damn swimming pool on the countertop and floor. Like me leaving the cap off the tooth paste drove her crazy that would drive me nuts. Thankfully after we retired she did not wear much makeup, not that she ever wore a ton of make up. But she could sure create a mess taking it off.
I can tell you that today I would give everything I own to have her walking in place or flooding the house washing her face just to have her here. So if your spouse or significant other does something that drives you nuts, embrace it. Because it hurts like hell when they are gone.
Today I was supposed to go to a Chili cook off event they are having up at our Rec Center, but my friend Randy called me to see if I could play golf at noon today. My waist doesn't need any extra help so I will be hitting the links at noon. It is not much of a chili day today anyway we are supposed to top out at 71 degrees today. However, starting tomorrow that is supposed to change and we will be back to the mid-50's to low 60's. So I am going to hit the links while it is still nice.
This morning I went up and notified the folks that I was not attending and then went and did some putting to get warmed up for this afternoon.
Well I better get to moving and get my golf stuff ready.
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