First Christmas Tree

This morning Dad and their Mailman Mark were talking about Christmas trees and the memory of Jennifer and my first ChristmasTree immediately popped into my head.

As Christmas 1989 was approaching Jennifer decided that she wanted to go out and find and chop down our own Christmas tree. She had never done that. Her Dad would usually get one from the sellers at the stores he delivered groceries to. There are some infamous stories in the Dysinger family about some of those trees and also the Christmas tree stand that Mick had, but I digress.

My family on the other hand used to have big Christmas tree cutting parties. We would load up wagons with people and cutting implements, sledding equipment and then drive up in the hills. A bonfire would be built and people would go cut trees and kids would go sled then we would sit around the campfire and have hot chocolate (kids) and chili and homemade wine and other booze (adults). Then back home. Again there are some infamous stories about those parties. but again I digress

So back to our first tree. One Saturday, we drove out to the ranch and I got a toboggan out of the barn and a Swede saw and axe. It was a beautiful day and the snow was not terribly deep, but deep enough. My grandfather was still alive and I remember him kind of shaking his head as we're getting ready to head out. He thought we should have taken a snowmobile to go get the tree. Jennifer was not having any of that. She wanted the full blown experience. She probably got the idea it was going to be this romantic and glorious adventure from one of those trashy romance novels she was reading at that point in our lives.

Anyway we got loaded up and started hiking for the timber line. It is probably about 1/4 to 1/2 mile to the timber line from where we started. So we started out and she was all chipper and chomping at the bit to go find the perfect tree for our apartment.

So as I said the snow was not terribly deep (about shin high) and the walking was not too bad other than hitting a occasional gopher and/or badger hole. Then we got to the first hill to climb up. Now I am dragging this toboggan loaded with equipment and the going got a little tougher (at least for me) but we finally reached the tree line and the tree hunt began. Now I will admit I was panting pretty good by the time we got to the tree line so I was not going to be venturing to far into the forest to find the damn tree.

Well it took us a while to finally find one that looked decent and was not to far into the trees. Now one thing we neglected to do was figure out/measure how big of tree we could fit in the apartment. We had pretty high ceilings (we thought it was 12 foot but they were 10 feet high) in the room we were going to put it in. We also did not bring a measuring tape with us. So she picked it out and I starting chopping it down and quickly realized that Grandpa was right we should have brought a snow machine, because we could have also brought a chainsaw.

Anyway I finally got the damn tree chopped down. It is amazing that it looked a lot smaller when I started chopping but once we got it on the ground it was lot bigger. Then when we went to put it on the toboggan we realized it was maybe a little bigger than we probably needed. So I got the Swede saw and wacked off about three feet.

Now at this point I am a pretty tired puppy, but I am still trying to be a good husband and at this point she was still pretty chipper, but I could tell the "shine/romance" of the experience was starting to wear off. Maybe it was because I was sweating like a whore in church and had been cussing up a storm as I was chopping and sawing.

So we get the tree on the toboggan and realize we did not think about how we were going to secure it to the toboggan. So we just set it on and would drag a little and the damn thing would roll off and we would roll it back on and drag a little more until it rolled off again. Thankfully we did not have to drag it up the hill but keeping the damn thing on the toboggan was a pain in the ass and was a test of the relationship.

Well when we got to the bottom of the hill we both were pulling it across the flat to get it home. So we get it back to the ranch and get a measuring tape and it was still to damn long. So I cut a another couple feet off. I wanted to do that on the hill, but she wouldn't let me, she was afraid it would be too short.

Well we loaded it on the roof of the car and got it home and guess what? The damn thing was still taller than it could be and was a little to bushy. So I had to cut a few more feet off of it again.

The moral to the story is that she found out those damn trashy romance novels are truly fantasy in more ways than one and she was cured of going out to get a Christmas tree in that fashion. The next year, we missed the christmas tree cutting and my dad cut one for us. She was not exactly pleased about that, but she also was not too upset about it either. Then we moved south and went the artificial tree route.

We had some good laughs about that first Christmas tree over the years.